Another example of how these two communities have overlapped is when I was in middle school and high school the "cool" thing to do was curse all the time. When I was with my friends we would drop inappropriate words every chance we got, but the moment I was around my parents or family members I would have to censor myself. Once I had friends over at my house and I didn't realize that my parents were home at the time and they overheard us cursing and at that moment my parents were so appalled that their daughter who, they thought, never cursed was indeed doing that behind their back.
Lexie,
ReplyDeleteI couldn't relate more to your point of cursing in front of parents. I went through the same thing when my friends would curse and has the same experience where I cursed in front of my mom, and didn't even realize it until she yelled at me. She almost took privileges away from me because she was also "appalled" at who her daughter was becoming. I'm sure she debated on if I needed to change friend groups. I wonder how many other experiences and things we did in middle or high school that our parents would question. Also, it would be interesting to know if they ever did anything that appalled their parents, which I'm sure they did!
Alexis, I am so glad you brought up a specific example of the ways that community membership and belonging often come down to issues of language use (slang, cursing, allusions, etc). What I find interesting about both your post and Bailey's comment is this idea that your word use made you a different person, someone appalling. What would that word use have signaled about you that would have been "appalling"?
ReplyDeleteI feel like it would be so annoying having to worry about how you act with one group of people versus another group. It would be like being two different people, even if it is something as simple as saying or not saying bad words. The issue of language is like the reading, the part about how the black women has to speak a certain way around her family but then a different way in the streets (and then how she feels like she needs to speak "normal" English). I guess some parents just never get used to the idea of their child speaking like that. But who's approval do you want more? Your parents', or your friends'? Yet, how do YOU prefer to speak? And of course, now that you're in college your parents might get a little worried over what you're doing and who you're hanging with. You'll just have to slowly work at establishing your independence and, as corny as this may sound, you're always your parents' child so maybe a call here and there isn't too bad. ; )
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